Over the past week, I began to think about it. Last year my physical was back in January. It went well, my doctor told me I am the picture of health, except that I am morbidly obese (I weighed in at 258).I told her what I have always told doctors, ever since my weight became a noticable issue, and no longer just "baby fat" (probably around 13): "I know, I am working out and watching what I eat. I hope to start loosing soon".
Honestly? Every year for the past 10, that has been lies. Have I worked out? Yes, but not regularly. Even last year I was on an off working out 2-3 times a week, and even then I was half assing it on the eliptical, or walking on the treadmill (not to say that isn't a work out, but I wasn't pushing myself). I would crash diet, or "watch" what I ate, but not watch my portions, so the "healthy" food was ultimately even worse for me than some of the bad food would have been. I wasn't following WW, or any weight loss plan that I tried. In truth, I was not trying.
Last April was when that changed. I started a work out routine. I tried to eat healthy, and measure my food better. It hasn't been easy, but I discovered so many foods that I now love. I feel satisfied, and happy with my success. I am, for one of the first times in my life, somewhat athletic.
So, for the first time in as long as I can remember, I was excited for my physical. Yes, I weigh in every week, and share my results with my family, and M, but for my doctor to see what I've done, and comment on it, it was exciting and nervewracking at the same time.
So I showed up for my doctor's visit this morning, a little nervous. What if her scale said I was 10 pounds heavier? Not that the other 35 pounds wouldn't show, but right now I'm 213, for it to go back up to 223 would be very disheartening. I went in, put on my robe, and hopped on that scale, per my doctor's instructions.
dun dun dunn
She started it out at 258, where I was last time, and made a comment that I've lost something. She moved it down to 240, then 230, then 220... and finally rested it at 213. An official 45 pound loss. We talked about what I've been doing, and I told her that it's been slow moving but efficient, and she commended me on that, saying that she wants me to be successful, and that's how to do it.
We talked more about a healthy weight range for me, and she would like me to reach 170, which is great because I was nervous that my goal of 165 was too high, so she solidified that this will be a good place for me to be. I have 13 pounds left to hit 200, and I want to do that by June, which is totally doable
I don't know what I was nervous for really. I knew I lost weight, I think I was more scared that my scale was wrong or something, and giving me false losses, and I really haven't lost as much as I think I have. I think it's more the idea of working so hard, and then not getting that commendation. All this time I've been losing weight, but my doctors office still had me listed at 258. In their books now, I'm officially 45 pounds lighter, and that feels awesome :-)