Sorry for the delay in posting. I have no reason for it, except pure laziness. I had a .2 loss on Friday, which was good (a loss is a loss) but I think the whole being within 5 pounds of 200 is getting old. I just want to get there! Slow losses are good, I need to be less impatient. I know what I can do better. If I'm being honest with myself:
-I've been cheating. A lot. Little handfuls here, a couple of chips there. A cookie or two that "don't count". It all counts. I've been lying to myself. Why, you ask? I mean, I've lost 53 pounds, I have been on Weight Watchers for over a year now. Why go back to my initial ways and miscalculate things?
Over the weekend I did a lot of thinking. I've realized that the WW program is awesome. I love all it has helped me accomplish. I also realize that it makes me crazy sometimes, which makes me resent it. Especially lately all I've wanted to do was eat what I've wanted and enjoy my life. And I can, but WW does limit that significantly. Which leads to me getting burnt out, and denying my bad behavior. I'm one step away from sneaking donuts again. Which while these little cheats are normally tasty, are they worth it? I want to get below 200, and hit my goal weight. And the way to do that isn't to cheat, and purposely misjudge.
So I'm not going to mention my May goals, because I haven't been honestly following the plan. Did I limit my desserts, and hit my AP goals? sure. But I got lazy with pretracking, and lied to myself, which is a big enough fail to overcome those two plusses.
So June 1st, fresh start, here are my goals for the month :
-Make Tracking A Priority. Every bite, every taste. Before it goes into my mouth, I want to think about whether I want to count those points or not
-Earn 150 APs by July 4 This is a WW board challenge, but I think it'll be a great motivator
-Hit 200 by July 4th Weekend. I'm 4.8 away. It'll be my main motivator to stay on track over my mini vacation
-Focus on Hunger Signals over wants, and portion control! I need to start training myself to stop when I'm done. I want to be able to list at least 3 times I accomplish this
-Run a 5K- Even if its not the milton one. I'm a little turned off by the milton one, mainly because of what I found out last Wednesday night.
Let me share. Apparently when my friend J posted a link to the Milton road race on my wall, 2 of M's friend's girlfriends (who I'm friendly with) decided they wanted to do it too, with their bfs. But didn't include me in that, just decided that they were going to do it together.
So imagine my surprise when one of them a few weeks ago mentioned how "excited" she was for the race. I was racking my brain thinking "did I mention it? Did I invite her?" I should mention that this girl is slightly crazed. She is extremely competitive with others with her weight loss and exercise (oh you didn't work out today ? I ran 3 miles. One of those), which stems from insecurity which is why I don't let it bother me normally. But with a 5K, I'm already insecure with my running. I'm not fast, I've had knee problems, and I know that if I run it with people other than M and my friend J (and my sisters), I'll be constantly thinking others are pitying me. Which I don't want.
I even got a taste of that. the competitive one was talking about it, and saying how she's had knee pain lately but she'll "power" through that. I mentioned that last time we walked a lot of it and still finished in 42, her response? "yea I want to do well so that's not an option". Fan-freaking-tastic. That is why I was slightly annoyed that they decided the 4-6 of them were going to do the race. I want to be proud of my achievement, not put down afterwards (she'll either make a comment about how awesome she did or how crappy she did, which will probably still be faster than me). It's silly, it's an open race and free for everyone, but I just felt like deciding to tag along without even asking or mentioning it to me is kind of rude, and put a taint on what would have been a fun race. But whatever, it'll be a big crowd, I may not even see them, you know?
I just hate people who compete with their friends. It's supposed to be fun, not a chance to put others beneath you. But whatever. I'll deal, and I do want to run it, I've come so far.
Some quick highlights of Memorial Day:
- I started my "think before eat" campaign, and honestly, I did well with it! I tracked everything, including the one chicken wing I stole from M's plate :-)
-I ate wholesome foods all weekend. Some highlights-Fish, Fish tacos, chicken stir fry, steak kabobs, a burger with salad. Filling without the massive calorie intake.
-I did drink Friday and Sunday. But I resisted drunk eating (even though I really wanted to), so my point damage wasn't terrible.
-I ran 3.8 miles in 55 minutes (including a warm up and cool down) on Thursday night. It was slightly muggy but felt awesome! I took 2 30 second breaks, and felt unstoppable afterwards.
- I went for a 2.5 hour hike with M and 2 of my sisters on Monday. We started out with an easy loopy trail, and then did a more intense rocky trail to the top. It was intense, My heart rate was sky high through the rocky part, but it was awesome at the end :-)
All in all, a good weekend :-) I enjoyed myself without being crazy, and for that alone I am pleased with my efforts.