Looking back, one fact about my weight loss journey that I've noticed is that it is constantly changing. I cannot do the same things for 2+ years and lose the same amounts every week, and find success that way. Especially with the transition from Momentum to Points Plus, it just wouldn't work.
I started out my weight loss journey by trying different things, and eventually finding my rhythm. From April - September 2010 I was working out 3-4 times a week consistently. I was eating about 1/2-2/3 of my weeklies, and for the most part seeing good losses. I got lazy in September as far as my eating went, but still saw decent sized losses throughout the fall.
Points Plus took some adjustment for me. It also didn't help that it started up right at the holidays, because as it was my first December on Weight Watchers, I had a lot going on and very little idea how to handle situations. I didn't lose that month, but I didn't gain either.
To be honest, the first three months of this year I was toying with PP. I was having small losses, and trying to figure out what I needed to change, and what I didn't. I thought I had figured it out in March/April, with my "only eating what I earn in AP" philosophy, but honestly my losses were unpredictible. And I hated that. If I work hard and do everything right, I want to have that reflected on the scale. I don't want to be dissapointment every week because the number isn't what I thought it would be. And in the same respect, I don't want to see said losses on the weeks that I don't do well. That doesn't help with this motivation issue!
I think that played a big part into why I was getting burnt out. I was obsessing about the number I was seeing each week, and every goddamn thing that went into my mouth. I was beating myself up when I cheated (I shouldn't call it cheating, I should call it living), or when I only made it to the gym 3 times instead of 4, so fearful that even though I had a good week, it still wouldn't be reflected on the scale.
The week before I went to Portland, I gave in. I started to try to get all my GHG's even if it means going into my weeklies by 1-3 for the day. I stopped being afraid to use my weeklies (in my mind, I had so many points in the day. eating my weeklies would make me gain) for items other than Friday/Saturday nights out. I'd have a bit more meat with dinner, or add the oil and cheese to my veggies to give them a bit more flavor. I started to track everything truthfully again, even if that candy bar or brownie was going to put me over for the day. I stopped being afraid to use the points, because that was a big hurdle for me starting Points Plus. I had it in my mind that my weeklies are there for emergencies, when in reality I should be using them for daily living.
And you know what? I saw HUGE losses those weeks (not my vacation week obviously), including this past one. I knew how hard I worked, how I stayed on track when my friends were visiting, and made sure to get a lot of walks in, even if I didn't make it to the gym. It's so funny that when I stopped being afraid to enjoy myself and eat the points that are given to me, I actually started to see a reflection of my efforts, the one part of the weight watcher program that has frustrated me so much.
And to be honest, I never bought into the philosophy of "eating more and losing more", but now I get it. I'm fuller now, more satisfied. I'm getting in all my GHGs, and focusing on healthy living, even if it is a few points more. I let myself get so obsessed because I didn't feel like I was in control. Every weigh in was a cross your fingers type scenario.
And I'm far from perfect, I definetly don't have it "figured out". I had a quasi good week, but definietly overdid it with the chocolate and candy this weekend, so who knows. To be honest, I'm normally pretty good during that "time of the month", but this week I had horrendous cravings. Like I'm talking animalistic. So I can't place the blame on myself for that :-)
And who knows, in a month I may have to re-evaluate what I'm doing and try something completely new. That is the double edged sword of a weight loss journey. It's never ending, and constantly transforming based on the needs on my body at the time.
I've still got a long way to go. I realize that 40-45 pounds (I may drop my goal weight down to 155, I'll post a different post about that though) is no easy feat, and will probably take me another year or so. But hey, the ultimately motivator is to look back on what you've come from, not where you're headed. And look at how far I've come in the past year :
|And thats only in the past year!|