Thoughts

I read this today, at One-Twenty-Five, who's blog, if you've never read it, is awesome and you should totally check it out. But here is what the post said:

"that feeling of losing weight. that feeling of stepping on the scale and knowing the number will be lower than it was yesterday. then it is. that feeling of trying on an old dress, once deemed too tight y’know, just-in-case, and voila! the zipper zips up the side easily. that feeling of catching a glimpse of yourself in a reflection and seeing a better you, a skinnier you. that feeling of lying in bed at night knowing you had a great eating day. that feeling of a friend noticing your hard work. that feeling of sitting down in shorts and knowing there isn’t cellulite on your thighs. that feeling of walking down the street and feeling strong, feeling good about yourself. that feeling of knowing you’re going to have a good day, not worrying if you will. that feeling of fitting working out into your schedule. that feeling of taking a smaller size off the shelves. that feeling of doing up a smaller size of jeans. that feeling of comparing old and new photos. that feeling the moment you finish a run. that feeling of believing in yourself. that feeling of confidence… that feeling you got this. that feeling you can do anything.

that feeling. i want that feeling back."


I've been thinking about this post all day, because it really spoke to me. All those moments she described, those are what I miss most about being on track and losing. I loved celebrating the milestones, and the feeling of a great workout, or a good eating day. Knowing that I fit into a size 14, something I'd never done before. I'm more on track right now (thanks to a lack of chocolate and candy in my life) than I've been in months. Consistently on track I mean. I'm being honest with myself, with my journey. I'm accurately tracking things, and not killing myself over the messups. But I want that success back. The feeling of control and knowing that I'm constantly working to achieve something amazing.

I have my Dr appt in 2 weeks, which will basically tell me if I'm really just not trying my hardest and need to switch something up, or if it's a medical reason for not losing. And honestly, I'm thinking it's the latter. Have I been on plan 24/7 for the past 6 months? Nope, but when I have been on, since June, my weight loss either is stalled or nonexistent. And that is the most frustrating thing in the world. Knowing that you've done your best, and it doesn't result in anything week after week after week...

So we'll see. Till then, I'm focused on heathy eating, limiting my drinking (I'm actually thinking about giving up the sauce for 2 weeks, just to see what happens), and hopefully getting back on the exercise wagon (when I can, my hip is still problematic) But I can honestly say that I can't wait to get that feeling back :-)