I'm not gonna call it a spiral, because it wasn't. It was a break. A break from a break from a break that I've basically been on since June when I hit 200. And I'm having so much trouble stopping.
Sunday night Matt and I had a talk where he told me he felt like he couldn't stop eating, and was nervous that he was falling back into his old habits of eating, and would gain the weight back. And it made me feel better that I wasn't the only one who felt this way, because once I hit 200, that's how I've felt. I've made excuses for it, and claimed I was going to recommit myself, and get back on track. In reality, I've been flip flopping. At the first opportunity to cheat, I give in, and make excuses. Something comes up after work? I just don't go to the gym, I mean it's ok, I'll just go tomorrow right?
So to summarize, I've been a lousy loser lately :-P
And I'm not going to say "but I'm back on track, because I'm acknowledging it". Because that hasn't worked. Instead, I'm going to tell you what I saw on Sunday morning, when I peeked at the scale after a night of martinis (only 2!) chips and queso, and a sausage/potato/butternut squash roast thing I ate at home. Oh and a giant burger with fries I had for lunch. I felt bloated, and pretty damn disgusting. And then I saw this:
now, I'm not crazy, I didn't panic, I knew I didn't gain 10 pounds in a week. But it was enough to get my ass doing cardio max for a half hour on Sunday morning, and focusing on being better.
And this week, I've made mistakes. I've had a bit too many candies that my mom kindly gave me for my treats jar (why do I have a treats jar?) , and snacked a bit in between meals. But I was closer to my calorie goal, and made an honest effort to eat healthy and work out (hit the gym once, did two videos, took an hour walk/job on saturday), and was only up .08 this week. Which is far better than 10 pounds. But I need to stop the yoyos.
I'm not entirely sure the point of this post. More just to be honest, and not keep stuff hidden, like it didn't happen. Because the past week, month, 4 months really have happened, and I need to be honest with that. And move on.
So here is my plan, that I am going to try and stick with:
- work out at least 4 times. Including getting up 1/2 hour early tomorrow for a walk/jog. Plan for Friday, Saturday or Sunday, Monday, and Wednesday
- focus on pre tracking, because that makes me think twice about bad choices
- keep to portion sizes
- limit sugar, soda,etc. When in doubt, say no!
Happy Thursday (almost Friday!)