It Starts

So I told you I would update you on my running plan. It only took me three days... I was really hoping I'd be jumping to get on my blog the next day and say "hey guys guess what? I'm cured!". Which is why instead I thought long and hard about the state of my blog, and what I want it to be.

Because I was afraid to blog about something that didn't work out, if that makes sense. And that isn't what I want for this blog. I don't want it to be all happy successes, I want to be able to record the stuff that doesn't work out too. I want to be more honest, because out of everything, honesty is something I have a lot of trouble with in regards to losing weight.

So the run. It didn't work out great. And the most frustrating part was, I felt awesome running. Normally I start out and the first  5 minutes or so are hell, and then I reach the point where I feel ok. This time, from the get go my legs felt strong (thank you crosstraining/hiking!), my breathing was steady, I felt great.. But then after about 7 minutes I felt the side pain. It started to go away a bit as I ran, but then I took a walking break for 3 minutes,and couldn't really shake it after that.. But I definetly think stopping to walk it out hurt me more than it helped. I mean it helped initially, but once I went back to running it was 10 times worse :-/

The upside? I completed 1.5 miles. And the pain went away eventually.

But I'm not giving up. It felt so good to run, and I feel like this isn't something I can't figure out. I'm going to keep on trying, seeing if I can find different ways to work this. I am going to try and run outside next week, and come up with a game plan. I'm going to eat less this time (maybe just the apple before, and then the crackers and cheese after?), drink more before, and stretch out even better. I was able to 25 minutes on the eliptical after the run, so I feel like this isn't anything serious, just one of those annoying things that plague my life :-P

I remember last fall, when I first started to get the knee pain, and I just stopped running/working out. I would do some videos, and walk, but I didn't really give the effort I should have. Which is why my weight loss stagnated.

This time is soo different. I am still doing intense cardio, just in a different form. I'm learning to cope with the eliptical (even if I don't love it), and I've found a love of hiking. I love the feeling of working towards something, which hiking is the ultimate form of that (reaching the top!). It's also a great way to spend time with M and my sisters, and in an odd way very relaxing, because it's so quiet and peaceful out there. And, as a plus I burn crazy calories doing it.

So my lack of running hasn't been a complete wash, like it was in October. Which is a definite plus. I do feel like ever since I hit 199 my motivation to follow the plan has gone out the window. Not that I haven't been following, I have. I've been tracking, but I've done little things that I have no excuse for. They are just lazy. Like seeing pie on the counter and grabbing two small slices and eating them standing up. Or eating 2 cookies on the way to the park yesterday. Or getting a chocolate donut with  breakfast this morning (at least I tracked that one). There are others, but these are ones that sick out. And I promise you, these aren't worth it splurges. These are impulsive ones. These are me not being 100% into my weight loss.

I need to find that motivation I had this time last year. Where spending time at the gym didn't seem like such a bother, and eating a healthy meal M-F wasn't so hard.

I think a large part of it is that I hit a big milestone (199), and because of that, my next true milestone (besides hitting a new decade) will be goal weight. Which right now is 160 but I may lower to 155 (I'll post about finding a goal weight soon). And the idea of hitting goal is scary stuff, because it makes everything real. I have such a hard time admitting what I've achieved so far.\And working towards actually hitting a healthy weight is such a different thing for me. I've never been there before. It's always been to get outta the 200's, and we've entered into unchartered territory now.

I'll get there, I promise, it's just something I've had to come to terms with. But I'm ready. I'm going to own these last 40 odd pounds. I'm ready to be an athlete and be proud of what I achieve, instead of feeling I have to hide it, because the idea of me being considered athletic is just a ridiculous notion.

So to start, my plan for this week:
-Friday- Date night! It was supposed to involve a lot of drinking, but plans changed to pizza, mini golf, and a few beers at the brewery by the beach. Fabulous :-)
-Saturday-Hiking! Stir Fry for lunch, hopefully babysitting
-Sunday- Doing a video? And walking. Definetly walking.
-Workout Tuesday and Wednesday night. Take a walk on Thursday.
-pretrack GHG's, to get em in ;-)

and with that, TGIF! It's been a long week, I'm ready for Friday :-)