Promises to Myself for the New Year

So this morning I realized I had forgotten my water bottle, and I only have a ten dollar bill on me. So I stop at dunkin donuts on the way to work. and I decide that I'll save myself a stop tonight and just get the dunkachino I've been promising myself now, instead of late.

I wanted one on monday, but since I had a mini binge on chocolate, I resisted
I wanted one on Tuesday, but since I was drinking, I resisted, and said Wednesday I could get one.

Unfortunetly, I slipped up and ordered a donut too, not even thinking. Back to my ways.

17 points later, I don't feel great about my choice. I shoulda stuck with teh dunkachino and my oatmeal.

Which got me thinking- Why? Why do I do this to myself? Why can't I indulge in one thing without completely throwing caution to the wind? Why Why Why?

My sister, when she was losing her weight, did a thing where every week she put together a baggie of candy, cookies, whatever she was craving during the week, and would let herself splurge normally one day a week by eating that baggie.

I need my own version of a baggie

The thing is, I'm great with planning ahead, being good with my meals. Last night I needed dinner in a pinch, and we were at the bar. I ordered a turkey burger and sweet potato fries. I gave M 3/4 of my fries, and enjoyed the burger, whcih I clocked in at around 11 points (the pattie wasn't too large, and the roll was fresh but not buttered or cooked, which was great.) I know past Marie would have eating everything on that plate, with no problem. Yes I ate the whole burger, but I cut out a lot of points by giving M the majority of my fries. And a turkey burger was definitely a smarter choice than other things on that menu. I had a beer and  a half, and only ended up over my dailies by 3.

So These are my promises to myself for the new year. This is my planning ahead, my way of making it work for me. I am going to update my challenge page, with the Memorial day challenge from the boards, and This personal Challenge.

• Work out 3X a week, minimum. Unless I'm sick. Even if it's just a walk.
• Indulge no more than 3X a week. Definition of Indulge (for my purposes): More than 1 alcoholic drink, candy/chocolate/ice cream/dessert worth more than 4 points.
• Fall back into the C25K plan. I fell off the wagon after the 5K, I want to get back up the the 3 miles I was doing, and be able to do them without stopping more than 3X
• Focus on getting in one GHG a week. (obviously get the others in too, but have one be the primary focus, finding new ways to incorporate it into my eating habits. I did this last month, and it really helped me get in the dairy and oil ones, my hardest)
• Track everything. Even if it sucks

Lets see how we do!!

Christmas Week!!

So I made a full recovery, although it did take me most of the week :-( I'm still a bit sniffly, but overall I feel a million times better!

I took the weekend off from going out and layed low. Friday morning I maintained at WI, which I expected at least that if not a gain. I took advantage of the fact that by Wednesday I could taste food again, and definitely ate more than I should have. That coupled with the fact that my breathing was still so rotten I couldn't work out, I used up all my weeklies and earned zero APs. Bah to that.

Friday I ate well during the day, and then went shopping with my sister at night. We were both so hungry and we ended up at McDonalds for a happy meal. I felt so gross afterwards, which was cool because it made me not want to indulge in McDs for a while. Shopping adventure was successful however. Which is good :-) And I only went over my dailies by a few, since I didn't drink at all on Friday.

Saturday I relaxed, watched a movie with M (Dinner for Schmucks. It was surprisingly enjoyable, I wasn't expecting it to be!), got panera for lunch which I made smart choices, even though I really wanted a frontega chicken sandwich, I got half of a smokehouse turkey panini and half a french onion soup. Definitely could have been worse.

Then I came home and had cookies (!!!) left over from my sisters baking. badd marie! I ate 10 points worth, and felt so discouraged after. Later on I went to my friends house to build gingerbread houses. It was fun, and we ordered a veggie pizza, which I was starving for and did have 3 slices. But considering they had 5 each (we had 2 pizzas), I didn't indulge as much as I could have. Even though I really wanted another one. They also were drinking peppermint schnapps, which I made into minty chocolate milks, which hurt my stomach after 2. So that definitely kept my drinking down :-(For the best really, they were around 7points a cup.

Sunday I woke up, had some delicious pancakes courtesy of my sister (2 points each, how could I say no?) and a bowl of fresh fruit. Then I helped my mom with the xmas lights, and went to the gym, for the first time in over a week (the last time I worked out was a week ago last Thursday-yikes!) I had taken a weekend off due to some minor knee pain, and then came down with that stupid sickness, so I could bearly breathe all week let alone work out.

It went a lot better than I thought it would!!I was honestly really nervous about running, because I figured my breathing would be all shot still. But I think because I was so focused on my breathing I was able to last pretty well. I did take breaks, just to catch my breath and drink some water, but I did a total of 32 minutes, Warm up 5
Run 10 (with a small break in the middle to catch my breath)
walk 3 (at a fast pace)
Run 10 (with the same small break)
cool down for 5

I then moved onto strength, I did 20 minutes of free weights (squats, lunges, dead lifts, lots of arm moves), and then 15 minutes of nautilus followed by 5 minutes of abs. I was so sore!! Even today my thighs are burning everytime I walk standup, or sitdown. Definitely expected it though.

So my plan for the week (amid christmas shopping, and hanging out)
Today hopefully do a video, work through the pain. I know I'll feel better after
Tomorrow take a rest day, and go to trivia with M!
Wednesday do a video
Thursday gym again
Friday morning do a light gym session
Saturday day off :-)

Merry Christmas!

The one bright side of being sick

Is that I have to force myself to eat. My friends came up on Friday night, and we had a blast going out (minus the train being lame and having major delays, making us miss the slutcracker).

We drank instead. A lot. And unfortunetly I woke up saturday morning feeling like this :

also sadly, my friends were up till Sunday, so I couldn't just leave my friends house and go home and sleep. We spent most of saturday watching TV, and went out saturday night, which was really fun although I felt like shit. I didn't drink though, besides a cocktail with dinner and one beer when we got there. After that I didn't want to anymore. I'm happy I didn't, I would have been 10 times sicker Sunday.

Sunday I basically slept all day, yesterday I went into work late, and wish I had just taken the day off, because I was useless. I feel a bit better today, but still have little to no appetite. Which should help with all the food I ate and drinks I drank on friday :-) Now if only I could stop coughing...

Week 36

Down 2.5!!!

After weeks of maintaining and not really trying, I did it. I have to say, following the new plan made me feel so much fuller and energetic, probably because I'm working so much fruit and GHG's into my diet! I only worked out twice this week due to my knee pain,, that was the main area I could work on. And I mean, what am I supposed to do, hurt myself by working through the pain? no thanks!


I'm especially excited because My friends A and L are coming to visit this weekend, which is awesome! However, when we all spend time together, it tends to involve tons of food. So My hope is this loss motivates me to chose wisely with drinks and to not overindulge or drunk eat. Because I definitely did that last weekend. Thankfully I ate healthy dinners so It didn't hurt me, and I made wise choices, but still.

Anyways I'll update after my weekend!

It's the most wonderful time, of the year

So week 35 (today) I maintained. I also have a broken scale. One of the four pegs that hold it steady above the ground fell off a few weeks ago. Which means basically that every time I weigh myself I get a different answer, normally either really low or really high.

So after 10 tries I was either 2 pounds up or 2 down, maintaining is safe :-) I have a feeling when my new scale arrives  I'm going to get an entirely different number entirely, hopefully a good one. I just don't trust this one.

So that's that :-)

It's been ages since I've posted! To be honest, I haven't been in much of a posting mood.  This week has flown, but at the same time It's been blah. Thanksgiving was nice, but quiet. The night before I went out with R and J, which was really fun. And I worked out the morning of. Ok I had a pathetic run and did the eliptical, but hey, I was hungover and felt sick, so go me!

It was nice having a long weekend off, but it went by wayy too fast! Friday M and I stayed in bed late, ate turkey gobblers, went to a beer tasting, and then hung out with friends. It was quiet, but in a good way. Then saturday I worked out and babysat. Sunday I had a great WO session with M, he told me afterwards that he was impressed with how I was pushing myself, which made me happy :-)

During the week I spent most of my time getting aquainted with the new WW plan. So far, I love it :-) I feel like because there are so many more points in a day, that I'm not "wasting" them getting in my oils or dairy. The only part I don't like is how much alcohol has gone up, but I feel like I will be more careful with my day to day eating to make room for a beer here and there :-)

Plus, with so many more dailies and weeklies, it pretty much evens out. I drank both friday and saturday night this past weekend, and still have 27 weeklies left.

the weekend was uneventful,although it made me realize that I'm falling back into the drunk eating spectrum. not fast food or whatever, but friday night I had some leftover chicken and saturday I made myself a sandwich. Sat night I didn't have that much to eat for dinner (just some pizza), but Friday, I wasn't even hungry, I only had it because it was there. That will be something I work on going forward.

I took the weekend off from working out, just because my knee was bothering me, althoguh I did dance on Saturday night. Tongiht I'm back at the gym, so hopefully it goes well.

I'll give a better recap later on in the week. I have some friends coming up to visit on friday, which should be fun, and pointy. hopefully I stay on the wagon!

woah

I fell off plan this weekend. big time. I drank, and ate, with abandon.


Here's to not eating for the rest of the day, and recomitting, day 1, tomorrow

:-P

Thanksgivings Eve

Happy Almost Thanksgiving!!

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays, just because it incorporates so many good things. Relaxing at home with family, eating good food, and no pressure to do anything. Plus my work gives you Thursday and Friday off, which is pretty sweet :-)

So due to the upcoming holidays, I've come up with a game plan :-)

• I am NOT weighing in this week. My rationale:
• I weigh in on Friday. I need a new scale and plan on buying one on discount this weekend. Plus, the night before is Thanksgiving. I can be an angel this week, but I know my body, and I know eating a large meal the night before will cause me to gain
• I am however, tracking on Thanksgiving. Last year, I was half-assing WW, and as a result I didn't lose a whole lot. This year, while I plan on enjoying myself, that doesn't mean I'm going to indulge fully. I didn't track on my birthday just because I knew it would be too hard and I wanted to have fun. Thanksgiving is one of those test holidays. If I can enjoy myself while staying on plan, then I can successfully change my life.
• Plus, My sister is doing most of the cooking, so most of our food will be pretty healthy.
• I am working out A lot this week, to know I did my best to stay OP
• I ran the 5K on saturday (more on that in a bit), I did a video monday night, I am working out at the gym tonight, and plan on doing SOMETHING (either a run or a video) tomorrow morning).
• While I plan on drinking, I'm sticking to relatively low point drinks, to balance things out :-)

I think that's a pretty good plan, don't you? Holidays are going to happen, and I can't throw caution to the wind. That said I also shouldn't try and be too good. It's a holiday, there is no point in not enjoying myself. I need to find that balance, and I hope I will :-)

Anyways the past week has been pretty good! Friday night I relaxed, Saturday was


The race.

We got there late, like 15 minutes before the start. The place was packed. I found my friend, registered, and got in the line :-) It was nice running with someone, but it was also hard because I was so focused on everything I was feeling, and I couldn't really listen to my ipod as I felt it was rude. which I didn't like.

But it helped me pace a bit better, and feel like less of a failure for hanging in the back. I'd say we walked a total of 5 times over the 3.1 miles. Which isn't bad. And we definitely ran more than we walked.
I did bring a water bottle, but they announced they would have stations every quarter of a mile. Which to me seemed like a lot but I told M and we hid our bottles. They would have weighed us down.

Yea there were two water stations, and the first one was out by the time we got there. That definitely didn't help me at all. 
We made it to the second water station, at that point we had ran about 2.3 miles. We finished the course with a new vigor, and our time was 42.10. My secret goal was under 45, and my outloud goal was under 50, so I was psyched :-)

M and the sisters finished in 32, which was awesome and I was really happy for them. M was so excited and proud of himself, it was nice to see him like that :-)

All in all, it was a lot of fun. I'm definitely waiting a little bit until my next one. I'm going to slowly start to run outside instead of the treadmill as much, to help me for the next race. I'm thinking around St. Patricks day is a good goal :-)

After the race we got breakfast with some friends who cheered us on, and then napped for a bit. I went to see HP7 with a friend, which was phenomenal :-) then I had date night with M, which included going to this adorable little pizza place in kendall square, low lighting nice quiet music, and some of the best pizza everr, we got a  pepper and onion with sausage. Super thin crust not greasy, it was amazing.

After my indigestion started to act up, and I couldn't even enjoy the beer at the Cambridge Brewing Company :-( I am both scared and excited to have my gall bladder out, it just sucks having to suffer like this, and have those pains

After we headed to the field and the people's republik, both are awesome bars. I switched over to my tanqueray seltzers with a splash of cran, and got a little drunk :-) it was a great night

So here's to a great holiday weekend, I'm definitely going to enjoy my time off!

Week 33, a lowkey weekend, and a pending 5K

Week 33 results- down 1.0! Not too shabby.

I did work hard this week. I ran Friday Sunday Monday and Thursday. I did weights Sunday,and  for almost an hour on Monday. None of my runs were less than 30 minutes (with warm up and cool down) and 2 of them were 40 minutes.

I definitely wish I had done more weights this week, but oh well. Friday, M had a blister and couldn't run, so I felt bad keeping him at the gym for too long. Plus, it was a friday. Sunday I didn't end up at the gym till 345, and by the time I finished my run, it was 440, and I had to be at church at 5. (well I didn't have to, but). Monday I tried to make up for my lack of workout with a heavy one, and I definitely felt it Tuesday and Wednesday, which is why I didn't do anything those two days.

Still, four days of an intense run isn't too shabby :-)

Eating wise, Friday night M and I got a pizza, but it was an individual sized one. So to complement it, we got precooked chicken, cut it up and put it in a light ceasar salad. It was delicious, and the pizza was super thin, and with minimal cheese and sauce so it was more like cheesey bread than anything. Saturday afternoon we went to the fish and chicken (a local place with a huuge menu, for pretty cheap. It reminds me a lot of London/Ireland, because it is the definition of a takeaway), and I saw they opened their new section:

The Healthy Market.
everything in the healthy market was under 500 calories.

!!!!

I got a turkey burger (380) with cheese, and popchips. All together I think my meal was 11 points, and it was phenomenal. and under 10 bucks. I'm definitely suggesting we do that again :-D

Saturday night I had a bowl of minestrone soup, and had some drunk pizza. but only a slice! and it was small. and i tracked it, so yay for me!

Sunday I worked out, and during the week I focused on heathy eating, with a few minor slip ups. But nothing too awful, just more drinking than I would have liked (I did a wine and chinese night on monday with my friend. not terrible, but still,), and beer on Tuesday (just one!)

So I think 1 lb is well deserved!! Although a piece of my scale broke off, and I noticed that after my results got skewed, so I hope that doesnt mess anything up :-( Im going to have to buy a new one I guess

Coming up I am so excited for this weekend! tonight I'm laying low, watching a movie, and tomorrow I have my first 5K bright and early! I'm very excited/ nervous. I've been training, and can do 3.1 on the treadmill with ease now. Which is great! But I realize an actual course is very different. I'm confident If I allow myself to walk sometimes and run most of it, i'll be fine :-)

Then tomorrow night is date night :-) M has his first saturday off in months (literally), and we are going to this great pizza place, and then for a mini bar crawl, similar to what we did on valentines day. I'm excited :-)

Week 32

And I hit 31 pounds down! I was a little bummed (I won't lie) that I lost .5 this week. I was soo good! I tracked everything even when I didn't want to, drank wine instead of beer, and worked out 4 times including 3 gym sessions, Wednesday included running 3 miles! But I keep on reminding myself that a lot of the time my body is behind a week sometimes, and I have the opportunity to work out 5X next week (I may do Fri then Sun-Wed so I can take a break thurs and friday before the race, but I may take tuesday as a rest day instead, well see).

I know that WW tells you to be happy with any losses, and I am. I mean I would much rather lose .5 than gain .5, but I sometimes get frustrated with losing slowly. I still haven't gone down a size (although I can squeeze into a 16, I don't feel comfortable wearing them yet) and just wish I had more steady progress. I also realize that I need to focus on being OP more, because I do slip up sometimes.I think I'm going to focus on being good 85% of the time. Most meals, restrict drinking to 2-3 nights a week (moderately,)and work out even when I "dont feel like it"

I hate that I do that!! Tuesday for example, I didn't work out because I was exhausted. I need to make it more of a priority. Having BF be more health conscious lately has been awesome, because I'm nol onger searching for times and places to work out, he's all about going to the gym friday evenings that we are doing low key things :-)

In addition, just typing Week 32 makes me realize that I've basically lost a pound a week, steadily. Which is AWESOME. And technically I gained 5 pounds and then really got serious about losing, so I was even heavier.

So This weekend I have the opportunity to be OP. Tonight is pizza night, which Im super excited about. And we're working out and then hanging out with friends. Low key.

Then tomorrow I may try and run outside, depending on how I feel. I may use Saturday as a rest day, and run outside on sunday. Tomorrow night I'm going to JD's apartment for a girlsnight. I declined eating out so I can try and be op. It's hard with them because we're big snackers. But I'm going to focus on being good!

WI Results

Down 2 lbs, hit my 30 lb mark (30.5)

Lost another point, but so what

Take THAT halloween!!

Winter's coming

You can see it in the weather. It's been freezing here the last few days, like winter jacket, gloves freezing. Maybe I'm just not ready for the winter, so everything feels colder than it is :-)

Either way, today my office seems to finally realize that its November, and having the air on is innapropriate at this stage (they didn't get that yesterday, and the wall heater did very little to combat the cold air coming through the big vents over my head. I was shivering and my fingers were purple)


But I digress! All in all, I think I could have been a LOT  worse this week, with Halloween and all. Normally, I'm super good about resisting candy and the like, but not this week. I ate at least 2 pieces a day,which honestly is better than I would have done last year. It's so hard when they leave candy near the water bubbler!! And this weekend I did have a few snacks, and got super drunk on Saturday. However I had great workouts Friday night and Saturday afternoon, and ate modest, point friendly meals all weekend. So a sweet here and there won't kill me. Plus I tracked EVERYTHING :-)

In addition to my weekend workouts, I also had a decent workout on Monday (I had a terrible side cramp so I ran/walked, but hey, better than nothing, right?) where I focused more on strength and core. And then Yesterday I worked out and had my best run yet. I finished at 2.75 miles (including .25 warm up and cool down). I ran for a total of 29 minutes, and honestly felt great. The first five minutes I was engrossed in a quality episode of Cash Cab, and when I realized I'd already gotten 7 minutes into my run, I had already overcome that initial hurdle of feeling tired and winded, and got into a grove. I did take 3 20 second breaks, to catch my breath and have a sip of water (The asthma will make me all dizzy and nauseus if I don't do this), but I was so invigorated after!! And it got me really excited for my race, which is in about 2 weeks. This sunday, no excuses I am running outside. I'm going to map out my run tonight, I think.

Another WL hurdle I worked on this week was talking about my weight with BF. On Tuesday night he was telling me how he hasn't weiged himself since he started working out and watching his diet about a month ago, so he doesn't know how much he weighs. He's afraid that not seeing a huge loss will discourage him, so he's just going to keep on doing what he's doing and hope for the best. We got on the topic of my weigh ins, and I did something I've never done before: I told him my starting weight. It was so scary for me, and initially I took his shock for disgust, because I am so insecure with that. I haven't told him before because the rediculous girl inside of me thought that telling him would make him not like me anymore, and be grossed out to be with someone that big. I'm almost 30 pounds down, and while I have a long way to go, I need to be proud of what I have accomplished. I don't get a lot of recognition from those around me, and I need to have that pride come from within.

Anyways another fear of mine is that knowing how much I weigh, M will subconsciously try and push me to lose more, because deep down he wants me to be skinny. I have had a few conversations with him where I got offended because he offered to be a "drill sargent" for me, and in the back of my mind, I take that as he'll make me feel bad for skipping a workout or eating something. It's weird, but when people offer to "help" me, my messed up mind takes it as an insult. I can't explain it, but I always turn him down, which I think offends him a bit. This weekend I heard from a friend that one of our friends was telling his girlfriend that she had to work out for eating X amount of food that night, called her fat, etc. I think I fear that if I let M help me with my weight loss, it will come to that, which is ridiculous. M cares so much about me, and would never hurt me like that.

This isn't going to have an easy solution, I realize that my WLJ has to be personal, but I can't push away my support team either. I need to figure out the balance that will make me happy, and let my victories be something M can share with me :-)

I'll recap my WI tomorrow!!

Why I know I can do this

Lately I've been on plan for a bit, and then I get tired of it, and want to quit.

And then I remind myself, I've done this before, I was at this exact point 3 years ago.

The only difference is I was doing it while I was having the time of my life

I studied abroad in london my fall semester, in 2007. It was by far the best experience of my life, and was truly life changing. I figured out who I was, what I wanted, and how to be happy with myself. I made the college friends I always yearned for

At Fairfield, I always sort of felt left out. I wasn't super popular, only had a few friends. I felt like most of the poeple there I met were superficial, and only wanted to be friends with you if you were a big partier or had a lot of money, which I was neither. I constantly felt judged, and that did a number on my self confidence.

So to say I was scared shitless to go to a foreign country by myself for 4 months is an understatement. What if no one liked me, what if it was Fairfield all over again? Except this time around I didn't have my home friends to fall back on, or my family. I would be all alone in England, with the closest familiar face in Ireland, which was still a plane ride away. I arrived sleep deprived, and sore from carrying my bags all the way from heathrow to the school, sat on my bed and felt a panic attack approach.

Then my roomate walked in. 4'10" blonde hair and the thickest boston accent I had ever heard. Super bubby and excited to meet me. She introduced me to a few girls she had just met, which relaxed me a bit. As the week went on, I would put myself out there, meet new people, and ended up with a group of girls who to this day are some of my best friends. Three of whom I still talk to daily. For once I felt like people liked me for me, not for what I offered. I was having FUN. I was walking EVERYWHERE and so consumed with sightseeing and living in London that food wasn't my biggest concern. I was going dancing 3X a week.

And I had such an easy schedule. The professors knew we were there to experience the city, not learn. Most of my classes were really interesting anyways, and with limited homework it made it even better. I started to exercise daily, just because all my friends were in classes, I had nothing else to do.

Plus I lived smack in the center of Regents Park, and that alone made me want to run always. Every time it took my breath away how beautiful it was.


Leaving abroad was one of the hardest things ever. I was so sad, I had found my city, my friends, why couldn't my life always be like that?

Coming back I realized I had dropped about 30 pounds in those 4 months. Not that I necesarily dieted, but the portions were smaller over there, and I didn't have a car to drive, so I had to walk always. I came back to the American portions, my car, college and reality, and put on 40 pounds over the next 2 years.

sigh. So that is why I know I can do this. I've lost the weight before. It was much easier then, but if I can do it once, I can do it twice and then some :-) and I'm so close to where I was when I got back from london, and in far better shape physically. But this is my PSA for the abroad experience :-) If you are in college, and are thinking about going abroad  DO IT. You'll regret it if you don't

Birthday Weekend Recap

So Friday I was down 1.0. which I was ok with, I've learned with my body that the work I do that week doesn't always show up till the week after. So where I was pretty OP these past few weeks, I've had some pretty good WI's.

So this weekend, I enjoyed myself. I didn't track. However, I wouldn't say I fell Off the plan. A few reasons.

1. Besides the shots that were bought for me, I drank my gin seltzer cranberries all night long.
2. I resisted the urge to keep on eating on Friday night. The nachos were delicious and definitely not on plan, but I think I ate a serving.
3. I had one slice of birthday cake, a half a slice of the cake my friend made me, and a slice of teh cake at the engagement party.
4.Lunch I ate a lot, but half my plate was salad, the other half was 1/4 pasta, 1/4 rice and 2 thin chicken slices. Definitely could have been worse.
5. Dinner I only ate half, and I took the bacon off the chicken to make it a little more OP
6. Lunch the next day I went for the greasy Monte Crisco. But I ate 3/4 of it, and really wasn't that hungry the rest of the day.

Overall, I DEFINITELY could have been worse. I watched my portions, and while I think I used up most of my points, I doubt I went over. A large part of me wants to track SO BADLY. But going back now is just going to depress me. IT was my birthday, I had fun. I'm moving on, clean slate monday!

The party itself was awesome!! I was fed shots and got birthday drunk :-) It was a great time to go out with friends, have fun, dance, and just have everyone out with me. Apparently there was some drama and crying, but thankfully it was off my radar, so my birthday wasn't troubled with someone's (no names) drama for a third year. The day itself I went to the engagement party. Which was really nice but I was so hungover. Then I hung out with my sister, went to dinner, etc. After I went to my friend's for cake and a drink, but I was just SO tired, BF and I went back around 1230, and I fell asleep by  130.

The next day we went to the All Star Sandwich Bar, which was fabulous. Best Birthday lunch :-)

Overall I had a great birthday, sadly it's over (that's always the worst part, isn't it?). The great thing about my birthday, is it's the week before halloween, so I now have that to look forward to :-)

Brr!!!

This is how I feel right now:

Apparently, my office didn't get the memo that it's OCTOBER and COLD outside, and the Air Conditioning no longer needs to be on. Seriously, my fingertips are all purple.

Anyways, update time.
Last week went off relatively painless. I worked out Wednesday and thursday, and I think it helped make me feel a bit better too! I decided to start back with the C25K, really follow it. I hope to be onto week 7 by November. I am also going to try and prepare to run a 5K in November. I think it will be enough inspiration for me :-)

I lost a half pound on Friday, which I expected. I was definitely not as good as I could have been, and with the sickness all I wanted to do was eat junk. I mostly refrained, but all the same.

Friday night I babysat, cutest little kid ever, and he was soo well behaved for me. I did treat myself to a bag of chips and a cookie. Ahh well, you move on, right?

Saturday I brought my sister to Johnson and Wales with my mom, so she could attend their open house. It was such a pretty campus, and the tour included so many free samples, we didn't even need lunch! I had a quiet night of movies, and one beer. But I was super on plan, which I was pumped about.

Sunday I planned to work out, but by the time I got home and was ready it was 430, and I had to be at mass by 5. plus I didn't feel great, so I just decided to work out mon-thurs, and call it even :-) We then went out to the Four's for dinner, for my sister Peggy and mine's birthdays (Her's was last Sat, mine is this coming Sat). I got fish, a baked potato, veggies and had 1 dinner roll and a half of a potato skin. It was delicious. I indulged in one beer, because hey, we were out to celebrate :-) It was really nice.

So my birthday celebration is this coming Friday, and I have already decided I am not tracking past 5pm. Personal choice, it only comes once a year, and I figure I can make relatively healthy choices without worrying how many points I'm using up :-) Besides, it's not every day you turn 23!


My hopes are to run/strength train Today, Wednesday and Thursday. Tomorrow I want to do aquick video, or take a walk to keep me going. Maybe both :-)

Back to the grind

After my week and a day off, I am officially back to work today :-( It was apparently rediculous last week, Which makes me feel pretty bad for taking the whole week off just to relax. (my boss had to do mine and her work) But everyone needs a break, and I do feel pretty refreshed, and definitely refocused.

Ok, onwards we go!
I developed a nasty sinus infection on Friday/Saturday( more sat than friday). I haven't worked out since Friday (BF and I went for a hike, it was awesome) and am finally not all congested in the head, but my chest feels awful. I am hoping resting today will help me feel all better tomorrow. Hoping.

I also still went out on Fri/Sat/Sun, although I didn't drink a lot/ at all, which was one benefit of being stuffy. It makes you only  want to drink water and tea. I didn't eat great (who does when they feel sick? my body only wants soup and bad food) , but I definitely could have done worse. Although here is my weekend confession: I had Wendy's Friday night, and Dominos Saturday night. Neither one did I eat crazy amounts of, but it definitely took out a lot of my points. I lived, I learned, I've moved on.

A plus side is from taking it easy these past 2 weeks, I feel like I can start to run again. My knee doesn't hurt like it did before (It does have a nasty bruise which I have no idea where it came from, but no joint/muscle pain), so I feel like I can run without worrying about injury. I am going to start tomorrow, sinus infection permitting :-)

Also good news is at WI last week I dropped .5, which is exciting! I don't think I'll have as good luck this coming week, but you never know!! Being home all last week was tough, I realize when I'm busier I tend to eat a whole lot better, and I snack less. Again, it was one of those, I wasn't awful, but I wasn't great moments. I definitely see the difference in myself from last year ( I used to binge, I'll admit it now), and yesterday I had a "relapse" moment.

I hadn't really eaten a whole lot during the day (mostly because being stuffed up made me feel all nasty) and my mom came home with a giant pack of cookies she got at BJ's. I had 4, 2 at first and 2 after dinner. I was so tempted to reach for more, but I first tracked it, realized I had eaten about 12 points worth and stopped myself. It was so tempting though, and go back to October 09 I definitely would have eaten all the cookies up.

Anyways, hopefully I can get back on the workout wagon, I'm babysitting Friday night and laying low Saturday and sunday, so I'll have plenty of freetime!

Planned vacations always go awry, don't they?

So I took off this week from work, mainly because I felt like I needed a break. I was getting burnt out, making stupid mistakes, etc. I also had to have a gastroscopy on Monday, and would have had to take a day or two off anyways.

So Recap: Last WI I lost 1.5, which was exciting!! I didn't have the best week, but I could have done a lot worse, and was pretty happy with my effort and results.

So Last weekend I went to portsmouth with the boyfriend, we had a gorgeous hotel room, and went to the NH beer fest. It was a lot of fun, I definitely drank more than I should have, but it was a lot of fun :-) We were home by 11, just because we had drank so much at the festival we couldn't go out any more :-) Unfortunetly I dropped my phone in the GAP, fully killing it :-( I had to wait till today for a new one, which sucked. but at least I got one, right?

Then we get to the beer fest, and my camera was broken!! I have the worst luck, because following this:

Monday, we were supposed to stay in portsmouth an extra night, but they scheduled my gastroscopy for Monday, so we had to leave after 1 night. So monday BF and I planned to hang out, watch a bunch of movies, relax, etc. We got 20 minutes into our first episode of dexter, when the power went out. FOR 9 HOURS. then my computer started to act funny and the two movies we rented completely disapeared. I still cannot find them anywhere. At one point I just started to cry a bit, I was so frustrated

I did work out Tuesday Wednesday and Thursday this week, which could be better, but definitely could be worse. My knee has been hurting me a lot, but it is starting to feel ok (I worked out today with little discomfort), I'm glad I had taken some time off from working out hardcore, I feel like I helped protect myself from serious injury.

I went to a concert last night, to see the hold steady, which is one of my favorite bands. It was seriously hands-down the best concert I have ever been to. The singer was so energetic and lively, it was a LOT of fun :-)

WI tomorrow, going dancing on Saturday, and T-minus 2 weeks till my bday!! I had a goal of loosing 30 by my birthday (I started really working on my weight loss in April, so around my birthday would be 6 months. ) I am currently at 232, and while I may not have a great WI this week (I'm hoping for NOT a gain) I think the next 2 weeks could help me at least get close to my goal of 228. 4 pounds, Even if I hit 2-3 down by then I'll be happy :-)


I'll probably update soon

my poor knee

So I think a combo of sitting on a bus for 10 plus hours with my legs in the upright position and running monday and working the eliptical tuesday gave me a weird feeling in my knee.

Wednesday my knee started to feel kind of sore. I decided to take the night off of work. The pain intensified, and became more of a pressure under my knee cap. This morning I felt stiff but definitely better, but once the IB profen started to wear off  the pain was right back, if not worse :-( I bought an icy hot pack and an ace bandage, and am resting tonight, hoping the pain will be gone tomorrow.


Anyways, Last weekend was a blast. I went to New Jersey to visit my London friends. The bus ride down sucked, our 4 hour bus ride ended up being 6, due to ridiculous drivers. But after that it was great. We drank a lot, we ate a lot (sadly, I definitely kept WW in the back of my mind though and could have done  a LOT worse), and laughed even more. Really good weekend :-)

Coming up this weekend BF and I are having a romantic getaway :-) We're going to Portsmouth NH for saturday night, and going to the beer fest up there, and then going out, getting drunk, and spending time together, its going to be awesome :-)

Then I have next week off!!! I'm so tired right now, so I'm at a loss what to talk about, but I promise I'll update sooner rather than later :-)

Food Love

So one thing that I'm assuming helped me gain all the weight is my love of two things: Bread and Cheese (We'll talk cheese later). Growing up, I would eat slice after slice of both. My favorite hangover remedy is bread and butter, or a delicious grilled cheese sandwich

So starting Weight Watchers, I would think that most poeple would probably agree, those are the two things that can really rack up the calories. I tried to find lower calorie options, that would still allow me to eat them.

unfortunetly, most low calorie breads and  cheeses don't taste very good. My sister and i found this awesome LF shredded mozzarella at Trader Joes, and most low fat mozzarella in general isn't bad. I can't stand low fat cheddar cheese, and most low calorie breads (including sandwich thins) taste awfully papery.

Thankfully I found bagel thins, seriously my favorite ever. I would make amazing sandwiches using these guys instead of bread. After about 3 months of this though, I got burnt out. (As you can imagine). I switched to Salads, which already I get burnt out very easily (I can only handle so much lettuce!)

So I've been asking around , and finally I've found the one thing to help me out of my sandwich rut:

Calise Deli Slims

Here's the backstory (yes, I have a bread backstory)

Growing up, I ate this brand ALL THE TIME. they have the best sandwich rolls, such awesome flavor. But when I seriously started to try and lose weight, I had to cut them out. (minus the rare time that I would basically say fuck it and have a delicious turkey sandwich on one ). about a week ago, I saw these on my kitchen counter, so I ask my sister if they are good. Her eyes seriously widened, and she goes "omgyes".

So I bought them. none of the cardboardy feel, they are super moist and taste just like the big ones. Except they are thinner. I put a chicken patty (Perdue italian baked ones. Amazingness) and loaded up the veggies, and ate that bad boy up. It was sooo good, and now I can eat sandwiches again!

I'll do a life update later this week :-*

Dissapointment

So I gained this week, 2 pounds. I don't think they are actually "2 pounds". I cheated a lot , I know that, but I don't think I did two pounds worth of damage. I tracked everything, When I cheated it was small portions of bad stuff, not binges, and even though I didn't work out a lot, I still worked out 2 X. Better than nothing. I think going out to eat last night and the wine hurt me more than I thought. That, and I was a candy queen last week, being on my TOM.
ahh well :-)

At first, It was the worst morning ever. I woke up late, I gained 2 pounds, but after I had time to digest it, and I combated entering my weight into the tracker, I realized that this may be what I need. Lately I've been so on and off plan, that's not how you follow WW. I've been saying that I'm going to be back on plan, and will be for a week, and then I make poor choices. I had one of the best workouts in the past month on Wednesday, and i think it's because I didn't build it up in my mind, you know?

So Plan for the week:
-Plan for EVERYTHING. Try not to cheat this, and if I do, TRACK. no late night drunk munchies :-)
-work out today, sunday, monday (if I'm not too sore), Wednesday and thursday. Maybe saturday depending on how much time I have.
-eat in, eat wholesome foods, try and focus on getting in my health guidelines, not what i WANT to eat.

Hopefully I'll have good news next week :-)

I'm a sucker for

Eating out. It truly is my downfall. I was SUPPOSED to babysit tonight, but the mom got sick and cancelled. So I call BF, who has the night off, and tell him we have a night together :-) he suggests going out to eat, I immediately say sure! Bah!

Normally, not a big deal. But my muscle pain took me away from the gym on Monday, and my hungover exhaustion led me to sleep instead of workout on Saturday, so I only have two days in this week. :-( And it's weigh in tomorrow. I did convince him to get wine instead of beer, thats good, right?

ahh well, you only live once, And I'm going to use the excuse that A. BF and I NEVER go out to eat. Like seriously, we prefer to save money and go out for drinks. B.I can use this as a chance to work on portions!

:-)

temptations...

I'm seeing them more and more around me. But first things first:

Last weigh in on Friday, I was down 1.5. Super psyched! Sadly, I did not make use of that into the weekend.

Confessional time
In all honesty, I wasn't THAT bad. Saturday night I had fish with little roasted potatoes, and I drank, but not excessively. (3 drinks, one was very low point). I tracked everything, and while my friend J's mom was offering me sweet after sweet, I tried each of them and then refused any more. And sunday I had a lovely egg with veggies, and low calorie toast.

But I did snack, more than I should have
I didn't work out as much as I should have
And Friday night, and drank and ate more than I should have (were talking 6 + drinks, albeit low point but still, and then pizza, and then leftover roasted turkey. I',m such a weird drunk eater)
Then today, I couldn't resist that pumpkin donut this morning :-( or eating out for lunch instead of going to the store like I KNOW i should have. Tomorrow, no excuses! I'm going to buy a low point lunch for the rest of the week. All things set aside, I did only go into 1 of my weeklies today, but I don't feel good about what I ate, you know?


That's what is weird, like as of right now, I don't feel like I've had a good week, but on paper, I haven't had a bad one. Besides the donut this morning, and the drunk eating on Friday (which I tracked, and wasn't THAT bad. I've definitly done worse), I haven't had any other slip ups, and both of those worked into my weeklies.

I had a good weekend though, BF and I went to see this band in Davis Square, at the Rosebud Grill. I drank Gin Seltzer Cranberry's all night, I didn't have one beer! And I wasn't hung over the next day :-) Both the band and the band that played before them were really good, and it was only a 5 dollar show! A great night.

Saturday I hung out with two of my oldest friends, we will call them J1 and J2 The J's and I have been friends since high school, one of them since I was 8. They are definitely two people that I trust a lot, because no matter the tiffs we get into or anything, they are good people, and good friends. We went to J2's parent's house and her mom made us drinks and played balderdash with us. IT was a lot of fun :-) I was so tired though, I took a nap in the afternoon, which threw me off.

Sunday I did some work and then went to the gym with my friend JH. She and I took turns showing each other the moves we normally do at the gym, I won't lie, I am HURTING today. We spent a solid hour doing weights and then a half hour doing cardio, very different than my normal gym routine. But a lot of fun :-) I felt awesome after that workout, even though I am paying for it today, I figure tomorrow I can take a walk after work, and Wednesday be back to working out.

I'm really frustrated with my working out lately. Even Sunday, we went to the gym and I tried to run, and was exhausted after 5 minutes. I did 20 two weeks ago!! I'm going to attribute sunday to the fact that we worked out for a solid hour before I started to run, and the past few weeks to the fact that I've been kind of burnt out. Doing pretty much the same thing over and over again gets sort of tiring, and I was loosing my motivation. I took last week off from any gym activity, and just walked and did videos. Sunday even I felt a bit better running (my knee was starting to ache too), which motivated me a lot more, I think I just tried to make myself do too much. I'm going to try again on Wednesday, and maybe do an outdoor run on the weekend, that may get me going!

Rest of the week: Tomorrow is Trivia at this bar with amazing burgers. I know, after talking about how I feel like I hav ebeen failing, I'm going to this place? But it's been months since I did trivia, and I did the math out, if I limit myself to half my meal (which the portions are huge, I should be ok) it is only 12 points, so as long as I'm careful during the day, I should be ok, and able to splurge here!

Wednesday is Girls night, which is just watching a movie, occasionally we drink, but I'll decline. I've gotten better at that lately. Thursday I'm babysitting for the first time for a family nearby. I'm pretty excited, It'll be a regular job, which will be nice.

This coming weekend should be easy to stay OP, Friday night I'm not sure of my plans, but DBF and I are cooking, and then Saturday I'm babysitting, so here's to a renewed motivation!!!

Dog Days of Summer

Isn't that what they call right now? those last few weeks before school starts and the fall air comes in. Last week was so muggy and blah, then the hurricane brought in crazy winds this weekend, so the days have been perfect and the nights have been cold! but hey,I'll take cold over muggy and gross anyday.



Anyways, Last weekend was great, it was awesome to see Danielle, We went to her family home in southampton, we beached, we pooled, we drank, and we ate. I was good about moderation, tried to fill up on salads and stuff, while still indulging on some food (her mom made pork parmeasan, it was fantastic). IT was a great distraction from life, and a great way to end the summer.

Monday morning I woke up with a great big smile on my face :-) Picked up the Matt at the airport, it was weird, we did the whole LD thing for almost 2 years while I was at school, and I would go weeks without seeing him. I guess we've just gotten a lot closer than we were back then, because I missed him like crazy. It was great to see him :-)

Tuesday I did something I hadn't done in a long time, I went grocery shopping for my lunches. I  bought a ton of salad stuff, veggie burgers, fresh cheese, and a ton of fruit. It was great, I felt so satisfied at work, was never tempted to eat out (except friday, but hey I had a good WI, so I treated myself to the best turkey sandwich out there!)

This weekend too, I've been careful with my eating, slowly and thoughtfully, trying my hardest to be OP. It feels great :-) I also had an awesome workout yesterday, and plan on going to the gym with Matt tomorrow, which will help me stay on plan this week. I'm realizing that part of this "Wall" I hit is that I was so focused on that 5x a week, I was tiring myself out. 4x and walking outside of this is the best for me, If I do more than that, great, and if I don't, then I know where to improve next time.

I'm also looking into 5ks to sign up for, because I know that this wall I'm hitting with running has nothing to do with my ability, I did 20 minutes, I know I can move forward from that, I think it's not having to do it. If I don't move on to the next level then nothing happens, but if I have a race to work towards, it might give me the jump I need. I'm also going to work towards moving my running outside. It's getting cooler out now, less humid, and that may help to not have to be in a gym on a treadmill, you know?

I'll check in soon!!

Rainy days definetly get you down

I started to post a blog yesterday, and got about a paragraph in writing about how sad I was with DBF being away, (we got into a fight Monday night because I called at 4am thinking it was 8 there. I lived in london for 4 months, how do I mess up the time difference. but he got really angry bc it was his grandmas funeral in a few hours)wah wah wah. I deleted it, and am starting fresh today, with a happier perspective. It's Wednesday, which means it's almost Friday! I am going to visit my friend danielle this weekend. Former roomate from college, and one of my best friends/ favorite people. I love her because we are so similar, so whenever I am feeling ridiculous, or am having a moment, I can call or text her and spill everything out, and she has never judged me, or gotten on a high horse. Her response is always something like "Oh my god I did the same thing last week" or "ugh I totally know what you mean, its the worst feeling". It's nice to have a friend that you can always rely on to not judge you, and to listen to your problems. Unfortunetly I've realized that a lot of my friends are really judgy sometimes. Like if I had told one of my friends J what DBF said to me, she would probably say "marie I think thats really unhealthy, you need to tell him to NOT talk to you like that, I think he's abusive blah blah blah" (I'm still a little bitter, about a year ago she did tell me he was abusive, because he called me a biatch when I was BEING a biatch. believe me, if you had seen the way I was acting that night, you woulda called me one too :-) )

Anyways. so visiting a good friend this weekend, who when I asked if I could come (I'll be honest, I didn't want to spend the weekend at home waiting for DBF to call, or hanging out with our mutual friends) without hesitation said absolutely. Then Monday I am leaving work at 4, and picking up DBF at the airport!!

Anyways. This week wasn't bad. I had the wedding on Saturday, which was beautiful, and an awesome time :-) I also only had a few drinks, and half my dinner, so I was happy with myself. Plus I think I danced off everything I put in haha. This week where I have been kind of sad, and it has been raining literally cats and dogs, I've been eating out for lunch (no food at home, and I really just don't wanna treck to the grocery store.). I've been making good choices though, yesterday I got this amazing buffalo mozzarella salad. De-licious.

Week 20 results (8/20/10) down 1.0, which I'm good with! The thing is, even when I make a poor choice, I realize I'm making it. I need to surround myself with better options, so I'm not tempted.

I've also made strides with C25K, I am now on week 6 day 2, the 10 3 10 run. I've decided I am going to stick with this guy, do it tomorrow night and maybe sunday when I get back, or over the weekend (her apartment does have a gym), and then Tuesday or Wednesday when I run again, I will do the 25 minute one. I don't know why this scares me so much, I did the 20, it was hard, but I felt amazing after (granted I took 2 30 second breaks, at the 10 and 15 minute marks. I was thirsty!!) I downloaded some new workout songs, so hopefully that will help. I think I'm starting to get bored.

Here is to an OP week, and a great WI!!

Sunkissed skin so hot ,we'll melt your popsicles...

I have that line repeating in my head, over and over again.

Sadly the heat is back in Boston. It was so nice out last week, not humid, just... perfect.

I am happy to report that i officially am back OP. I am tracking EVERYTHING (even the not so great stuff), resisting, and focusing on healthy eating and portions. Case in Point. I got home from the gym last night, and dinner was left out (a perk of living at home), chicken and mac and cheese. Back in the day, I probably would have finished off the pot of m&c. Last night I took a chicken breast, and measured out a serving (which was actually kind of a lot), and made some brocolli to keep me full. Such a good dinner, and it was kept under 10 points :-)

WLJ
Week 19 results (8/13/10)- stayed the same. It was bound to happen eventually, right? I was honestly just happy I maintained. Sadly the rest of that week didn't go so great (there was a donut that was unnecesary, and a very much non measured cup of pasta

I think that was the kick I needed though. My birthday is Oct 23, and I really want to be past my 10% goal (I'm about 6 away now) by then. Preferably by the begining of October.

The Bad:

• DBF got Wendy's on Saturday night (in his defense, he didn't get to eat dinner, and was starving when I saw him at like 11), so I got a double stack *hangs head in shame*. It was a splurge, but my burger from dinner was so burnt it was unedible, so all i had was salad and green beans. I had to dip into my weeklies, but I was ok with it.
• That's it!! so long gigantic list of "bad" things from the weekend! :-)

The Good:

• Ate OP (besides the wendy's) all weekend. I'm talking breakfast lunch and dinner, focusing on points
• DBF's parents got chinese food, I requested white rice, and ate the beef and veggies, chicken teriyaki and the rice. It was delicious, and a reasonable splurge
• I have tracked EVERYTHING. Even if I didn't wanna ;-)

That said, my week doesn't end till Friday. I babysat last night, which are normally downfall nights for me. I got a mini pizza from this place near work (seriously the size of a celeste pizza, and so crispy and good!), and had 3 chips ahoy cookies, which is soo much better than my normal splurges.

now, on to activity:
ACTIVITY:

• DBF was away friday night for the bachelor party, so I went to the gym and completed week 5 day 3. I took a 30 second break at the 10 minute (run) mark, and then kept on going, it felt awesome! I was soo proud of myself afterwards, and monday when I did week 6 day 1, the 5 minutes were like nothing. I do need to update my playlist though, the songs are getting old
• I hardcore cleaned my room all day saturday. I was sweating up a storm and needed to take water breaks, but my room looks awesome and I felt great for not just sitting around on my off day
• I am doing a video tonight, and c25k week 6 day 2 on Thursday. hopefully i can get to the gym before the wedding on saturday, if not week 6 will be finished on sunday.

Now for the bad news (and the reason I didn't finish this post yesterday): BF's grandmother died yesterday. He was (is) so upset, and I'm just so sad for him and his family. He is leaving tomorrow night and coming back the 30th, and I just wish I could be there with him. This also means he is missing Tom and Claudia's wedding on Saturday, which stinks because I have to go alone, but more because they are good friends of his, and I know how long he has been looking forward to it. The whole thing just sucks, really bad. I mean I'm going to miss him, but it's more I wish I could physically be there for him while he is dealing with the funeral and aftermath (BF is originally from Scotland, so he is flying there tomorrow night with his mom, and it'll be hard to contact one another). I'm just gonna make sure I am always with my phone these next 12 days, so if he calls or emails I am available for him.


Ah well, here's to better times ahead, right?

Dealing with Burning out

I feel like everyone at some point has that feeling of burning out. Tired from working out all the time, from eating "heathy" and feeling like your are constantly eating the same foods over and over and over... it gets difficult. I had a two month period where I was totally satisfied with my lunches and dinners, I was good about staying within my points, and not falling off the band wagon. Lately it's been the opposite. I find myself still hungry after meals, I indulge far too much on the weekends, and motivating myself to go to the gym has been a feat in itself. This past weekend this all cumulated. I went away for my friend's bachelorette party. I drank a ton, ate chips dips, pasta, burgers, bagels, you name it. And I felt crummy when I returned, and really pushed myself at the gym. So today I am starting over. I am staying OP for the day, and taking it one day at a time. I'm going to try new foods  (and not just say I'm going to try them), vary my workout schedule, and combat the temptations around me, focus on myself for a change :-)

First things first, my goal of 120 APs by labor day. I am at: 26/120

Week 18 (8/6/10) WI results: down 1.5, which is great, all things considered. I am still loosing, and I honestly have not been terrible, besides this weekend. I just feel a bit burnt out from dieting, and need some type of boost :-)

I have many opportunities to be good this week. Not a whole lot going on,  and next weekend DBF is going away for the bachelor party (whcih is slightly freaking me out. They are going rafting, like we did. And I'm sure they will be fine, but I just worry a bit) so I am going to shop, clean, and work out :-) \

Rafting was ... an experience. To say the least. It was a lot of fun, the only part that really scared me was when we fell off the raft, and I got stuck in teh rapids, they keep pulling you under, it's really tramatizing!  but after that it was a blast, a very good day :-) And night, might I add. yes, I drank a lot, but it was a great night

I'll check in again over the weekend :-)

Week 17 WI

Results:

-1.5, bringing me -17.5 down all together, and into a new decade. Super excited/ motivated. I set a goal for myself to be here by the fourth, so it took me 3 weeks longer to get here, but I still got here. woot woot! I think I need to set more goals, and be more dilligent about following up on those goals, so I will use this blog to do so :-)

This week wasn't great, but I'm going to use that as motivation to be better :-) I only had one beer during the week, which is pretty good if I say so myself :-) I turned down trivia night TWICE, just because I didn't want to spend the money or the calories. Instead I rested, worked out, and spent time with my sisters, which was nice :-) I wish I had more free time to do that, I may start turning down people to spend more time at home, I feel bad that I'm rarely there, but I'm also 22, and after stressing out and working all day, it's nice to relax and watch a movie, or tv show with a friend or my bf :)
The next few weekends are really effing busy for me. This weekend I have a girls night on Saturday where we are going dancing. I plan on pregaming to save money, and drinking low calorie drinks. Sunday is the Arcade Fire concert, which I am pumped for! But that also involves dinner and drinks, it all adds up! money wise and points wise.

I plan on laying low this week, because next weekend is white water rafting for claudia's bachelorette party. I'm excited/ nervous. Excited, because I think the weekend itself will be really fun, and I've never been before. I'm nervous because I've heard horror stories, and that sort of thing scares the shit out of me, to be honest :-) I'm sure it will be fine though, and a ton of fun!

The weekend after that is the boys bachelor party, so DBF will be gone all weekend. Is it bad I'm kinda excited to have a weekend to myself? I plan on working out lots, spending time with my girlfriends and family, and most of all, relaxing 8-)

Then its the wedding, which will be a blast, but I'm nervous for WW wise. It's a cash bar so I can resist drinking a ton, but food may be a problem :)

I'll take each weekend as they come, it's all I can do really, right?

Goals for this week:
- focus on GHG's, something I was lacking these past two weeks
-go Grocery shopping for work, so I can eat more veggies and fruits, less processed junk
-work out 4-5x and go for a walk at least 2x
-portion control!

I am also going to set a goal for myself by labor day, I want to hit my 10% which I am 7.5 pounds away from. Totally doable I think!

I also want to earn 120 AP's

Annddd go!!

Feeling behind

Do you ever have days (slash weeks) like that, where you just feel behind the curve? I realized that I haven't updated in well over a week, so color me bashful. Life has been beyond hectic, to say the least. 

WI was on Friday 7/23, the results bring me down 1.0, which is awesome!! I am so close to a new decade, and yet for some reason, I feel a little off. I've eaten OK. not wonderful, not awful. I've had days that I more than splurged, and I'm dissapointed in myself for that. But this is me recomitting, because I've started repeating to myself "If you half ass the plan, you get half ass results". And I don't want that. I want GOOD wait no GREAT results :-)

So WI is Friday, time for some 100% OP the next few days. In the meantime, my confessional:

THE GOOD:
- I did C25K week 5 day 2 yesterday. I reached that point where I actually enjoyed it, and wanted to keep going. I'm going to repeat it one more time outside (this was done in the gym) and then move on to day 3, which is a 20 min run non stop. yikes.
-I played softball for like 4 hours on Sunday. And worked out pretty hard on Saturday.
-my lunch and dinner saturday sunday monday and tuesday was all modest, portioned out, and OP
-I took monday off from working out, since I was still sore from softball, and instead of just sitting around, I took a walk with my sisters

THE BAD:
-I ate far more chinese food on Friday night than I should have.and drank, when I really didn't need to
-I stopped for Wendy's on Saturday night at like 330am. I shared a 5 piece chicken nugget, small fry and go wrap with DBF, but I shouldn't have had  anything
-I've been meh with my point counting (whew that's a relief to get off my chest).

So here goes. I'll post again on Friday (promise) with a longer update.

Sunday Mornings

Are the best for relaxing, aren't they? I feel so relaxed right now, just lying in bed thinking. Trying to organize a shopping trip for later on today, etc

So first and foremost, my results for Week  14:

-1.5, which brings me to 15 lbs lost! super excited for this one. I worked very hard this past week staying OP and making healthier choices than I normally would.I even focused on getting my oils in, which I'm normally pretty bad about. So hurayy!!

Nothing too exciting from last week to report, the family was down the cape for the week, and where I had to work I was left behind to take care of the house (yes I still live at home. I'm working on it ;-) )So I used this opportunity to hone my cooking skills. Sample menus included chicken teriyaki, buffalo style chicken

turkey tacos (don't be fooled by the photo they were delish)

And bbq chicken breast with cilantro lime rice (and peppers)

Very tasty! I remember even up to a year ago, I would grab the largest plate possible (see turkey tacos style plate) because I wouldn't want  to run outta room. Now I try and use smaller ones like in the bbq chicken picture, and I honestly am still filled. Guess that's something I've learned on WW.

All in all good week, Tuesday night BF and I watched dexter (my latest obsession) and cooked the chicken dinner. And drank some delicious watermelon beer. Wednesday night I had some girls over for a movie night (zombieland, which I was totally in the mood for) And Thursday I played trivia where I may have had one more martini than I really should have, but it was still fun :)

I also got in about  23 Activity Points, which is a lower number than I have been getting as of late, but still decent considering I took three days off. I had a long and busy week at work, and I was proud of myself for making me workout most days, but Wednesday I was there till about 7 and all I wanted to do was go home, no gym. I think I have been pushing myself a bit too far, because I have been soo tired lately. It was nice to have a lesser workout week. Next week though, I need to get back on the running. I haven't been so good about it these past two weeks. Monday the gym was so damn hot, I weighed myself when I got home and had dropped 7 pounds, haha.I couldn't even finish the last 5 minutes, because I felt like I was going to pass out. I did make it to two minutes left, so it wasn't the end of the world , you know?

So my goals for this week:
-Try and stay OP during the week. The weekends I do my best but I know it's harder.
-Get in my oils, veggies, lean meats, and dairy. Normally I meet all but the oil,I don't know why it is so hard for me!
-Work out every day but tuesday and Friday
-watch my portions!
-Try and start the next day of the C25k.

My biggest problem, I've realized, is when I get stressed out or anxious, I WANT to eat badly. I will tell myself it's a treat, or I deserve it. Which is ok some times, but not every time :-)

So far this week:
-Friday had dinner out, but only ate 3/4 of my sandwich, and about half of my fries. I indulged a bit in beer, but when I got back instead of having pizza and chicken fingers I had a tomato and mozzarella salad. And it was sooo good!
-Yesterday I just wasn't hungry! I ate half a sandwich at lunch, which wasn't that great, split a steak and cheese with a friend, and drank quite a few beers. not exactly OP, but a year or so ago I would have gotten a steak and cheese by myself, so thats progress, right? haha. It was good ,I had fun, and I had the weeklies to use up
-I did take friday off, and worked out yesterday for about 45 minutes, which I'm good with. When I first started WW I had so much trouble getting workouts in on the Weekend. Now that i have some good videos to use, it's so much easier!


until next time!

First Post!!

Here I am, giving the traditional first post :-) I hatte talking about myself, so I'm gonna give you some highlights :-)


-I'm 22 years old, living in Boston Ma, where I grew up.
-I went to Fairfield University in Connecticut, Where I graduated last May, 2009. I was a finance major accounting minor (a numbers gal). While I loved the schooling itself, I had a lot of trouble making friends. I initially attributed it to the fact that I was quiet, but it did little for my self esteem. By the time graduation rolled around, I came to realize that Fairfield just was never the type of place I was going to fit in. I graduated happy with my classes, with a few close friends, and am satisfied with that :-)
- I went abroad my junior year to London, where I met some of my closest friends, and had the best experience of my life. 2 years later I still want to go back.
-I was incredibly lucky to receive a temp to perm job at a mortgage company in their accounting department. I went permanent there within a month, and am happily working there 8 months later. It's a company that is incredibly good to their employees, and treats the customer with respect, which makes me respect them even more.
-I started dating a friend of mine right when I got back from London, and 2 and a half years later, we are still going strong. I won't lie, when I first met him, I thought he was cute, but I NEVER expected for him to be the love of my life :-). we have very similar wants out of life (travel, new experiences, etc), and compliment each other well.
-I come from an incredibly Irish family (my dad moved here when he was 18, my mom spent every summer at her aunts bed and breakfast in Ireland, and most of my cousins aunts and uncles are all still there. It is one of my favorite places.). Because of that, I often feel like I had a slightly different upbringing than most of my friends, and think with a slightly different mindset.
-I have three younger sisters( 21 19 16), who even though they drive me crazy I love spending time with them. My youngest sister recently lost 100 pounds on WW (weight watchers from here on out), and seriously has been my inspiration to try and lose the weight as well.

And I'll share more as we go along :-)

Now, a little of why we are here :-)

I have ALWAYS been overweight. Seriously I remember being 10 years old and feeling embarrassed because I couldn't fit into junior sizes. I hated going to the doctors, because of the dreaded weight talk. And the scale. And that look I would get. But its hard at that age to change how you eat. It's not like you cook for yourself, you know?

As I entered middle school and high school, I became an emotional and stress eater. I had a big test in high school, I would eat. I had a bad day at school, I would eat. I was made fun of because I was the fat kid, and always felt outcasted. I went to a catholic high school in my town, where I met an awesome group of friends, who made me finally feel included, and I was actually happy. By the time I graduated high school however, I was around 270 pounds. I had no concept of portion sizes, or how awful the food I was eating really was. And the fact that my friends and I went out to eat constantly, I was eating even more than I normally would.

Enter college, Freshman year didn't change much, I was still a size 20/22, (more 22) and pretty miserable, as I made few friends. I always felt embarrassed of how I looked. It really sucked. After that year I changed a lot. Tried to eat a bit better, (although I often gave in to temptation). By the summer before I went abroad I was down to an 18, and feeling healthier. I had my home friends, and a few good school friends, and through bad roomates and balancing work and school, I made it work.

Enter abroad, where I drank and danced to my heart's content. I met some awesome friends, and walked EVERYWHERE. I dropped close to 40 pounds, and worked out more than I ever did. I was so happy and content with myself, and was so sad to come home. I regret totally how I continued when I went home, because I wish I could say I got better about eating. But I didn't. I reverted right back into my old ways, with a lack of portion sizes, and McDonald's once a week. Having the BF didn't help, they aren't kidding when they call it love weight, because I packed on those pounds I lost.

After I graduated from Fairfield, and found a job, I saw the pictures of myself, and wasn't happy. I joined WW in October 09, but didn't really follow it. I lied to myself, underestimated, and didn't really devote myself. I quit in January, telling myself I can do this on my own! I went right back up to where I was in October, and rejoined in March. IT was my vacation to Florida that really made me change my ways. I got back from that, and saw the pictures. And I hated what I saw. I really recommitted Mid April 2010, and so far have stuck with the program, and lost close to 1.5 pounds a week. Some days I'm better than others, but I realize it's not going to be easy. I have been working on making exercizing fun, and tryiing new foods so I dont get bored, and constantly staying up to date on new ideas. I plan on using this blog to talk about my successes, my failures, and life overall. I Weigh in on Fridays, so I will be updating at least once a week, if not more.

I will be posting pictures periodically of my journey. to motivate me :-)

until next time,