Why I know I can do this

Lately I've been on plan for a bit, and then I get tired of it, and want to quit.

And then I remind myself, I've done this before, I was at this exact point 3 years ago.

The only difference is I was doing it while I was having the time of my life

I studied abroad in london my fall semester, in 2007. It was by far the best experience of my life, and was truly life changing. I figured out who I was, what I wanted, and how to be happy with myself. I made the college friends I always yearned for

At Fairfield, I always sort of felt left out. I wasn't super popular, only had a few friends. I felt like most of the poeple there I met were superficial, and only wanted to be friends with you if you were a big partier or had a lot of money, which I was neither. I constantly felt judged, and that did a number on my self confidence.

So to say I was scared shitless to go to a foreign country by myself for 4 months is an understatement. What if no one liked me, what if it was Fairfield all over again? Except this time around I didn't have my home friends to fall back on, or my family. I would be all alone in England, with the closest familiar face in Ireland, which was still a plane ride away. I arrived sleep deprived, and sore from carrying my bags all the way from heathrow to the school, sat on my bed and felt a panic attack approach.

Then my roomate walked in. 4'10" blonde hair and the thickest boston accent I had ever heard. Super bubby and excited to meet me. She introduced me to a few girls she had just met, which relaxed me a bit. As the week went on, I would put myself out there, meet new people, and ended up with a group of girls who to this day are some of my best friends. Three of whom I still talk to daily. For once I felt like people liked me for me, not for what I offered. I was having FUN. I was walking EVERYWHERE and so consumed with sightseeing and living in London that food wasn't my biggest concern. I was going dancing 3X a week.

And I had such an easy schedule. The professors knew we were there to experience the city, not learn. Most of my classes were really interesting anyways, and with limited homework it made it even better. I started to exercise daily, just because all my friends were in classes, I had nothing else to do.

Plus I lived smack in the center of Regents Park, and that alone made me want to run always. Every time it took my breath away how beautiful it was.


Leaving abroad was one of the hardest things ever. I was so sad, I had found my city, my friends, why couldn't my life always be like that?

Coming back I realized I had dropped about 30 pounds in those 4 months. Not that I necesarily dieted, but the portions were smaller over there, and I didn't have a car to drive, so I had to walk always. I came back to the American portions, my car, college and reality, and put on 40 pounds over the next 2 years.

sigh. So that is why I know I can do this. I've lost the weight before. It was much easier then, but if I can do it once, I can do it twice and then some :-) and I'm so close to where I was when I got back from london, and in far better shape physically. But this is my PSA for the abroad experience :-) If you are in college, and are thinking about going abroad  DO IT. You'll regret it if you don't

Birthday Weekend Recap

So Friday I was down 1.0. which I was ok with, I've learned with my body that the work I do that week doesn't always show up till the week after. So where I was pretty OP these past few weeks, I've had some pretty good WI's.

So this weekend, I enjoyed myself. I didn't track. However, I wouldn't say I fell Off the plan. A few reasons.

1. Besides the shots that were bought for me, I drank my gin seltzer cranberries all night long.
2. I resisted the urge to keep on eating on Friday night. The nachos were delicious and definitely not on plan, but I think I ate a serving.
3. I had one slice of birthday cake, a half a slice of the cake my friend made me, and a slice of teh cake at the engagement party.
4.Lunch I ate a lot, but half my plate was salad, the other half was 1/4 pasta, 1/4 rice and 2 thin chicken slices. Definitely could have been worse.
5. Dinner I only ate half, and I took the bacon off the chicken to make it a little more OP
6. Lunch the next day I went for the greasy Monte Crisco. But I ate 3/4 of it, and really wasn't that hungry the rest of the day.

Overall, I DEFINITELY could have been worse. I watched my portions, and while I think I used up most of my points, I doubt I went over. A large part of me wants to track SO BADLY. But going back now is just going to depress me. IT was my birthday, I had fun. I'm moving on, clean slate monday!

The party itself was awesome!! I was fed shots and got birthday drunk :-) It was a great time to go out with friends, have fun, dance, and just have everyone out with me. Apparently there was some drama and crying, but thankfully it was off my radar, so my birthday wasn't troubled with someone's (no names) drama for a third year. The day itself I went to the engagement party. Which was really nice but I was so hungover. Then I hung out with my sister, went to dinner, etc. After I went to my friend's for cake and a drink, but I was just SO tired, BF and I went back around 1230, and I fell asleep by  130.

The next day we went to the All Star Sandwich Bar, which was fabulous. Best Birthday lunch :-)

Overall I had a great birthday, sadly it's over (that's always the worst part, isn't it?). The great thing about my birthday, is it's the week before halloween, so I now have that to look forward to :-)

Brr!!!

This is how I feel right now:

Apparently, my office didn't get the memo that it's OCTOBER and COLD outside, and the Air Conditioning no longer needs to be on. Seriously, my fingertips are all purple.

Anyways, update time.
Last week went off relatively painless. I worked out Wednesday and thursday, and I think it helped make me feel a bit better too! I decided to start back with the C25K, really follow it. I hope to be onto week 7 by November. I am also going to try and prepare to run a 5K in November. I think it will be enough inspiration for me :-)

I lost a half pound on Friday, which I expected. I was definitely not as good as I could have been, and with the sickness all I wanted to do was eat junk. I mostly refrained, but all the same.

Friday night I babysat, cutest little kid ever, and he was soo well behaved for me. I did treat myself to a bag of chips and a cookie. Ahh well, you move on, right?

Saturday I brought my sister to Johnson and Wales with my mom, so she could attend their open house. It was such a pretty campus, and the tour included so many free samples, we didn't even need lunch! I had a quiet night of movies, and one beer. But I was super on plan, which I was pumped about.

Sunday I planned to work out, but by the time I got home and was ready it was 430, and I had to be at mass by 5. plus I didn't feel great, so I just decided to work out mon-thurs, and call it even :-) We then went out to the Four's for dinner, for my sister Peggy and mine's birthdays (Her's was last Sat, mine is this coming Sat). I got fish, a baked potato, veggies and had 1 dinner roll and a half of a potato skin. It was delicious. I indulged in one beer, because hey, we were out to celebrate :-) It was really nice.

So my birthday celebration is this coming Friday, and I have already decided I am not tracking past 5pm. Personal choice, it only comes once a year, and I figure I can make relatively healthy choices without worrying how many points I'm using up :-) Besides, it's not every day you turn 23!


My hopes are to run/strength train Today, Wednesday and Thursday. Tomorrow I want to do aquick video, or take a walk to keep me going. Maybe both :-)

Back to the grind

After my week and a day off, I am officially back to work today :-( It was apparently rediculous last week, Which makes me feel pretty bad for taking the whole week off just to relax. (my boss had to do mine and her work) But everyone needs a break, and I do feel pretty refreshed, and definitely refocused.

Ok, onwards we go!
I developed a nasty sinus infection on Friday/Saturday( more sat than friday). I haven't worked out since Friday (BF and I went for a hike, it was awesome) and am finally not all congested in the head, but my chest feels awful. I am hoping resting today will help me feel all better tomorrow. Hoping.

I also still went out on Fri/Sat/Sun, although I didn't drink a lot/ at all, which was one benefit of being stuffy. It makes you only  want to drink water and tea. I didn't eat great (who does when they feel sick? my body only wants soup and bad food) , but I definitely could have done worse. Although here is my weekend confession: I had Wendy's Friday night, and Dominos Saturday night. Neither one did I eat crazy amounts of, but it definitely took out a lot of my points. I lived, I learned, I've moved on.

A plus side is from taking it easy these past 2 weeks, I feel like I can start to run again. My knee doesn't hurt like it did before (It does have a nasty bruise which I have no idea where it came from, but no joint/muscle pain), so I feel like I can run without worrying about injury. I am going to start tomorrow, sinus infection permitting :-)

Also good news is at WI last week I dropped .5, which is exciting! I don't think I'll have as good luck this coming week, but you never know!! Being home all last week was tough, I realize when I'm busier I tend to eat a whole lot better, and I snack less. Again, it was one of those, I wasn't awful, but I wasn't great moments. I definitely see the difference in myself from last year ( I used to binge, I'll admit it now), and yesterday I had a "relapse" moment.

I hadn't really eaten a whole lot during the day (mostly because being stuffed up made me feel all nasty) and my mom came home with a giant pack of cookies she got at BJ's. I had 4, 2 at first and 2 after dinner. I was so tempted to reach for more, but I first tracked it, realized I had eaten about 12 points worth and stopped myself. It was so tempting though, and go back to October 09 I definitely would have eaten all the cookies up.

Anyways, hopefully I can get back on the workout wagon, I'm babysitting Friday night and laying low Saturday and sunday, so I'll have plenty of freetime!

Planned vacations always go awry, don't they?

So I took off this week from work, mainly because I felt like I needed a break. I was getting burnt out, making stupid mistakes, etc. I also had to have a gastroscopy on Monday, and would have had to take a day or two off anyways.

So Recap: Last WI I lost 1.5, which was exciting!! I didn't have the best week, but I could have done a lot worse, and was pretty happy with my effort and results.

So Last weekend I went to portsmouth with the boyfriend, we had a gorgeous hotel room, and went to the NH beer fest. It was a lot of fun, I definitely drank more than I should have, but it was a lot of fun :-) We were home by 11, just because we had drank so much at the festival we couldn't go out any more :-) Unfortunetly I dropped my phone in the GAP, fully killing it :-( I had to wait till today for a new one, which sucked. but at least I got one, right?

Then we get to the beer fest, and my camera was broken!! I have the worst luck, because following this:

Monday, we were supposed to stay in portsmouth an extra night, but they scheduled my gastroscopy for Monday, so we had to leave after 1 night. So monday BF and I planned to hang out, watch a bunch of movies, relax, etc. We got 20 minutes into our first episode of dexter, when the power went out. FOR 9 HOURS. then my computer started to act funny and the two movies we rented completely disapeared. I still cannot find them anywhere. At one point I just started to cry a bit, I was so frustrated

I did work out Tuesday Wednesday and Thursday this week, which could be better, but definitely could be worse. My knee has been hurting me a lot, but it is starting to feel ok (I worked out today with little discomfort), I'm glad I had taken some time off from working out hardcore, I feel like I helped protect myself from serious injury.

I went to a concert last night, to see the hold steady, which is one of my favorite bands. It was seriously hands-down the best concert I have ever been to. The singer was so energetic and lively, it was a LOT of fun :-)

WI tomorrow, going dancing on Saturday, and T-minus 2 weeks till my bday!! I had a goal of loosing 30 by my birthday (I started really working on my weight loss in April, so around my birthday would be 6 months. ) I am currently at 232, and while I may not have a great WI this week (I'm hoping for NOT a gain) I think the next 2 weeks could help me at least get close to my goal of 228. 4 pounds, Even if I hit 2-3 down by then I'll be happy :-)


I'll probably update soon